Hug deficit and fear of flying

How the lack of tactile contact in childhood is linked to anxiety in adulthood and why 85% of people with fear of flying answer the same question in the same way.

How can a lack of tactile contact become a cause of anxiety in the future? According to research, physical closeness between a mother and child plays a key role in the development of the nervous system.

When a mother kisses her infant, important biochemical processes are triggered in the child's brain: the production of dopamine is stimulated, which gives a sense of well-being, as well as oxytocin, known as the love hormone, because it is responsible for feelings of attachment and peace.

This reduces anxiety and fear, increases confidence, and evokes a sense of attachment. Thanks to this, the child feels protected.

Internal brake

When a child is born, they do not yet have an internal brake: the skill of self-soothing and emotional regulation. Through tactile contact, the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, which is responsible for the ability to calm down.

If such an experience was missing in a child's life, as an adult, the person may have difficulty calming down and may be afraid to speed up, trying to always remain in a calm state, since there is no internal brake.

Hugs work at any age

The effect of kisses and hugs does not stop with growing up. They continue to cause chemical reactions that strengthen us not only psychologically, but also physiologically.

The hug hormone oxytocin, for example, helps the rapid removal of cortisol from the body. Cortisol has a negative impact on the cardiovascular system and on the length of telomeres, which are directly linked to life expectancy. Thus, hugs and kisses are simply necessary for physical and mental health.

Observation from practice

We have a test on our website that has existed for 18 years. It includes the question: when you were growing up, were hugs, kisses, and gentle, affectionate words common in your childhood? There are three answer options: yes, often; yes, rarely; no, it was not common in our family.

85% of respondents out of several tens of thousands answered "rarely" or "it was not common." And almost all of these people have a fear of flying. There is clearly a connection here.

This once again emphasizes how important tactile and verbal warmth is for the formation of a healthy psyche. Do not skimp on hugs and kisses, they are priceless, even if "it is not common for you."